Funny

I laughed really hard at this laffy taffy joke. That might just prove how juvenile I am.

"Why is the nose in the middle of your face?"
"Because it's the scenter!" :)

We All Need These!

What is it with the top floor executives? Are they really that much better than the rest of us? And are their papers really that much more important? Honestly! Janelle and I made a trip upstairs a while back and discovered they have FOLDER HOLDERS in the bathroom stalls. We've started going up there with our papers just to use the bathroom. It really would be a pity if some student's refund check fell in the toilet, after all. :) Perhaps I can get pictures of this anomaly. You will all love it, I'm sure, and be most jealous.

So that's how you really feel?

Today Paradox gave me a present at work. She walked back to my desk and then pointed at something behind me. "What's that?!" When I turned, she slipped a nicely wrapped package on my keyboard. Well, the wrapping was a tissue, and the bow was tied out of a thin piece of cardboard. She had attached a sticky note with this text: "Thanks for being such a great sister. This represents you." (or something to that effect) 

It took scissors to open the silly thing, for crying out loud! When I finally got in, I found one peanut butter cracker sandwich wrapped up in its package. Well, thank you, Paradox. I'm glad to know that you view me as the leftovers that no one wants. The girl sitting next to me said I shouldn't eat it because it had probably been on the floor.

At least my daddy loves me -- he thinks I'm best represented by a gemstone.

Today's Funny Story

I was shopping today. In the grocery store. I had my list and was more than half way through when I couldn't find something. Actually, it was the water chestnuts. Carefully pulling my cart out of the middle of the aisle, I had walked all up and down aisle 5 (the canned vegetables, soups, etc.) at least half a dozen times. It was then that I saw a store employee. "Aha!" I thought, "He will be able to help." I ran (okay, it was actually more of a brisk walk) down to the other end of the aisle to catch him before he moved on or was distracted by someone else. He knew just where they were -- around the corner. In the oriental food, of course. So I quickly followed him a few steps down the next aisle, grabbed two cans, and returned to my cart.

Which ... wasn't there. I walked all up and down aisle 5, then went to aisles 4 and 6, just in case. Still no cart. A bit of careful observation revealed that in aisle 5 there was one cart which seemed to be without an owner. I inspected it and found that it was NOT my cart, but was placed mere feet from where I had left mine. No problem. Surely the owner of this cart would soon realize that she had walked off with mine instead of hers and would be back for her correct groceries. Not so. After waiting a few minutes, I started walking up and down all the nearest aisles, hoping to spot my purse in the child seat of some cart and put the matter straight. I found no success, but was in good humor; the whole matter was quite comical to me at that moment.

At least five minutes after initially discovering my loss, just as I was contemplating going to the front and asking for advice from Customer Service, I heard over the loudspeaker, "Attention Maceys customers, would Chicken Dust please come to the service desk. Chicken Dust to the service desk." You guessed it; at the front of the store, a clerk kindly handed me my purse and shopping list, but the cart switcher had gone. Too bad. She probably wanted her groceries, not mine. Upon my questioning about the one who turned in my purse, the checker said, "He said he was shopping and stopped to get something and when he turned around ... there was a purse in his cart!" Imagine his surprise. :) And then imagine his greater surprise and chagrin when he arrived home and his wife commented on the presence of groceries she didn't want, and the absence of those she did. Poor man.

So I got my purse back, but I had to redo all my shopping. It was more than worth it, though, for the privilege of having such an amusing experience. Only in Happy Valley.

Super Woman

Ladies and Gentlemen, I can break an apple in half with my bare hands (though Nate would contest that my hands are human, not bear). Pictures to come.

Mud Warriors

The other day Kaitlyn and I were walking home together and she found a stick in a big mud puddle. Naturally we had a mud fight. She got me good on the forehead, so then she was jealous of my beautiful face. Rubbing her finger along the muddiest part of the stick, she got enough mud to put some "intimidation lines" under her eyes. I followed suit. We were MUD WARRIORS!

And hear me ROAR!

An Adventure

Please reference The Paradox.